I’m In the Wrong Body

I am a short woman. And, like the famous teapot, I am also stout. I’m built like a fireplug. A keg.

I purchase most of my clothes on line or from catalogs, for a variety of reasons (but that’s another blog post). But many plus-size catalogs are meant for Amazon women, not teapots.

My sense of style is more suited to C3PO‘s body type than to that of R2D2, which I more closely resemble.

Every article of clothing I absolutely love and adore is designed for tall people. Capes. Fabulous hats. Clothes that drape.

And few things are proportioned using common sense: The cuffs on the sleeves of the rain coat I purchased are at knee level. Just because I’m big around doesn’t give me gorilla arms.

Most plus-sized clothing designed for short women resembles furniture upholstery. Yes, I love going to Day Job dressed like granny’s favorite overstuffed chair. It’s a wonder no one has sat on me.

But then, what should a tea pot wear except a tea cozy?