Theater Etitquette

I remember the first time I went to a real movie theater (instead of the drive-in). My cousins’ aunt took us on a city bus to see some Disney movie…maybe Bambi. I remember my father telling me, “No talking during the movie or they’ll throw you out on your ear.” I spent an awfully long time that afternoon wondering exactly how my poor, constantly infected ears would survive being tossed out on, and how exactly that would work. Did it mean I would land on my ear on the concrete sidewalk? But wouldn’t the rest of my head also have contact?  The upshot was I never made a sound during the movie because I didn’t want to find out the hard way.

When my son was in middle school, the teacher who oversaw the school plays said to me: “We also need to teach students how to be an audience.” At the time, I thought that was a really bizarre statement.

I’ve since learned what he meant. Movie theater theater etiquette has vanished. People talk through features, open their candy wrappers, look at their cell phones–the light from the screens are distracting–and in general have no manners or consideration for the people around them.

Several years ago, when Wicked first came through town, my daughter’s enjoyment of the show was destroyed by the girl sitting next to her singing along with the cast.

The same thing happened to me a few weeks ago. My husband and I were fortunate enough to obtain tickets to Beautiful: The Carole King Musical. This was not a movie. Not a concert. It was a theatrical performance featuring live actors on the stage. And the child next to me–the one who jumped up and down in her seat, squirmed, and kicked me–sang along with the cast. And her mother smiled down on her with indulgent maternal pride.

Hello? You are not in your living room. This wasn’t Sesame Street Live  or a Tom Chapin or Raffi or Arrogant Worms concert. A child that young who cannot sit still has no business being at a theatrical performance targeted to adults. And who told Mom it was okay to sing along with the cast of a Broadway show performance? Mother and child should have both been tossed out on their ears.

How to be an audience ought to be class taught in every elementary school.